debs-journal

Reflections on My Learning Journey

A Shift in Focus

I have never been very strategic or intentional with my career. Nevertheless, my resume shows a steady progression through tech roles over the past 10+ years from software engineer to senior engineer and eventually lead, gradually picking up experience, both technically and personally.

But now, at 36, I want to slowly move away from targeting external measures of success and focus inward. In the last few years, I have spent more time working on myself, not just external blockers, but more the internal ones. It’s been a long process, learning to reframe how I think, to build confidence, and to be more deliberate in how I approach things. It’s a journey with no end date, and I still keep working at it.

The Impact of Continuous Learning

Continuous and sustained learning has transformed my life in some very subtle but impactful ways, bringing me greater confidence, personal satisfaction, fulfillment, stability, peace, and a touch more joy.

For a very long time, I wanted to dive back into studying CS fundamentals from scratch, following a roadmap like Teach Yourself Computer Science, and I wanted to revisit the basics, build my foundational knowledge.This year, I finally started.

I picked the topic “Computer Architecture” first, with the book Nand2Tetris Part 1. It took me well over 3 months to finish 5 chapters, but the challenge felt just right, like the Goldilocks story. It wasn’t too easy that I got bored, nor difficult enough to discourage me. It provided the perfect balance, pushing me just enough to stay engaged without becoming too overwhelming. I rediscovered an old source of childhood joy, pouring over programming books and solving problems. Some aspects of working through the book I particularly enjoyed was solving the logic for the underlying circuits (called logic gates which are the most basic abstraction and building blocks for computer systems). Starting from basic AND, NOT NOR logic going up to ALU and RAM circuits and even writing some toy assembly programs, it was all quite fun.

As I worked through the book I realized, it provided more than just intellectual engagement. Even when I was exhausted after work, putting in a bit of time studying everyday also brought me joy and comfort. These little moments of time I spent studying felt like being wrapped in a warm quilt on a cold evening, with a soft comforting light shining on me. It engaged my mind and I felt at ease. Coupled with a steady sense of accomplishment and delight, it felt real and grounding.

Expanding to New Topics

Halfway through the year, I picked up the next topic — “Operating Systems”. I started reading OSTEP and explored the xv6 OS in parallel along with it. I learned about underlying concepts of process management, memory management, concurrency and file storage. Something I really enjoyed about OSTEP were the references to interesting papers at the end of every chapter which really expanded my understanding of the history of computing as well. I am almost finished with the last few chapters now. At one point, I had to pause for work, and getting back into it was tough because the break had gone on for so long that my initial interest had faded, but I eventually returned to it again.

Next, I plan to explore math and AI mainly because they present new challenges and because a strong foundation in math is useful for studying many other areas. I’m not sure how that’s going to go — I have always found math a bit difficult and boring, and AI, being so math-heavy, feels like more of the same. But based on my experiences with Nand2Tetris and OSTEP, I am hopeful that it may eventually bring joy and satisfaction. Gaining confidence in the basics will likely open up new interesting topics to explore in the future.

Some Concluding Thoughts

When I started this journey, I didn’t know exactly how it would pan out, but I took small, consistent steps along the way. After some non-linear progress and setbacks, I have noticed some positive changes. Its a little easier to develop new better habits and manage being productive as well as stepping back when needed. It’s also slightly easier for me to even sometimes override procrastination and do something small. I feel a little successful with this and hope to hold on to it going forward.

P.S. Thanks to my friend Ramana for pushing me to write more. :)